Mean Girls

This past Saturday, a group of ladies and I hosted the first-ever women's conference in the history our church, Camino Verdad y Vida.  It was a blessing and pleasure to have the opportunity to work with a wonderful group of women and teenagers from my home church here in Barranquilla and to work with a wonderful group of ladies from the United States.  During the conference, many women were blessed and touched through the various speakers' testimonies.  God moved powerfully and many women's lives were forever changed.

During this conference, God reminded me just how powerful women ministering to women really is.  Stepping back and seeing the way God moves when women meet together, set aside the competition, insecurities, jealousy and cattiness is simply indescribable.  Women are powerful beings, perfectly capable to build each other up or to tear each other down, indefinitely.  This past weekend, I saw women reaching out to other women, all "stuff" set aside and God moved in our midst.  Women, young and old, were saved, delivered, healed and transformed.

I got to thinking, why don't we experience this type of ministry more often?  Why do we have to wait until there's a special conference or women's meeting for it to happen?  Why are we (women) not ministering to each other all the time?  Why aren't our every day encounters with each other always this powerful?  I believe that are several things that inhibit and/or prevent women from ministering to women.   Let's just take a moment to be real and honest.  Girls can be mean.  They can be heartless, cruel and hurtful.  Girls know how to whip out the claws and do some damage.  But, we are so much better than that.  We are called to be different than that.  We are called to love.

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1. Mean girls are insecure.  

Mean girls struggle with insecurity, so many feel the need to find faults in other women in order to feel better about themselves.  Mean girls critique each others' weight, clothes, hair, makeup, etc.  God tells us that man looks at the outside, but that He looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7).  We need to learn to love and accept ourselves before we can ever love or accept someone else.  We need to believe that we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139: 14).  As women of God, we must know who we are in Christ so that we can live in confidence instead of insecurity.

2. Mean girls are competitive.

Mean girls are constantly on the defense.  Everything is a competition and their goal in life going to win!  We need to stop comparing ourselves to others.  We need to stop viewing other women's talents, abilities, bodies, and/or looks as "threats" and we need to see them as simply what makes them capable to do what God has called them to do.  Instead of sizing ourselves up and comparing ourselves all the time, we should learn to accept and appreciate what makes each of us different.  The Bible warns us of the danger of comparison (1 Corinthians 10:12).  Comparison is sure death to our contentment.  Instead of always playing defense, we need to set aside the desire to be better, prettier, smarter, better dressed (etc.) and play together.  When women work together, we make a powerful team.

3.  Mean girls make assumptions.   

Mean girls make judgements based on outward appearances, rumors, or sometimes they make them out of thin air.  We assume a girl is rude or stuck up even though we've never talked to her.  We assume she has an eating problem because no one can really be that thin without an issue.  We assume she's promiscuous because she hangs out with mainly guys.  We assume she got that raise because of her looks instead of considering the fact she might have deserved it.  Matthew 7:1 is very clear when it tells us to be careful in judging others, because what goes around comes around.  The way in which we judge others will be how we are one day judged.  I don't know about you, but I need some grace and mercy.  We need to give every woman person a clean slate.  We need to push aside any assumptions, rumors, or hearsay and let them show us who they really are.  Sure we may find a lot of rubbish and trash, but diamonds are found in the rough.  Don't miss out on "jewels" because your focusing only on the rough, unpolished, imperfect outside.

4. Mean girls are always #1.

Mean girls because of their insecurity, competitiveness and their need to be "the best", only surround themselves with people they know they can surpass.  They make sure their friends are not a pretty, less intelligent, socially awkward, or not as fashionable.  They have to be #1 at all times and at all costs.  The Bible tells us that we should always consider and treat others as higher (better) than ourselves.  It shouldn't be "all about us"... it should be "all about others" (Philippians 2:3).  Iron sharpens iron, so if surrounding yourself intentionally with people you think are dull, you'll never be sharpened.  If you always surround yourself with people you've already surpassed, you'll never grow.  Stronger woman push us to become stronger and better.

5.  Mean girls put up a "front".  

Mean girls don't know how to be genuine or real.  They have a perverse need to appear perfect--without flaws or issues.  They will cover up weaknesses, issues, or faults at all costs.  They don't allow others to see the real them because they're afraid of rejection.  Only a valiant, confident woman of God will allow herself to be "real" and vulnerable.  She is the only type of woman that God can greatly use.

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We need to stop being "mean girls".  We need to do what the Bible commands us to do, we need to be ministers to one another.  There's something uniquely special about a woman and her heart.  There are some things that only another woman can understand, teach, and touch in our hearts.  There is power in women ministering to women.  As women of God, it's time to step up, step out, and step into the amazing things that God wants to do with us, within us, and among us.