My Biggest Fan
One memory that I'll treasure and remember forever is the day as 16 or 17 year old girl I crawled into my mother's lap with my head bent, tears falling freely, and feeling as though my heart would never be whole again. I sobbed unconsolably and she said nothing. She rubbed my back, made shushing noises and rocked me. She had no words to make things better, but her calm and steady presence were there, and that, for the moment, was enough.
There is nothing like a mother's love. Years after we've grown too large and heavy to curl up in our mother's laps we secretly wish at times we could. Even now as an adult whenever I become sick, I want my "mommy". My husband takes wonderful care of me, but there is something about having your mother nearby that makes you feel a little bit better.
I have learned SO many things from my mother over years, but the one thing she has made most clear to me (and my brothers) is that she is our biggest fan. She has supported us, laughed with us, cried with us, cheered for us, fought for us, celebrated with us, and mourned with us. She has been a part of every minor and major moment in our lives. There is no doubt in my mind where my mom stood when it came to us.
While I could write books on the things I have learned from my mom, I'm going to stick with the top 6 things I have learned from my mom that have GREATLY molded, shaped, and influenced my life. Take note, she's a pretty wise woman. (Even if it took me years to realize and admit it!)
1. Garbage in, garbage out.
While at times my taste in music, clothes, or friends may not have been right on par, my mom always stressed the importance of guarding what you let in your sight, ears, and mind. She was known (by all) to be the movie police patrol, the music evaluator, and the conversation killer at times. She had no tolerance for crude, rude, and vulgar entertainment or conversations. She held us accountable. I didn't realize it then, but what we allow in our hearts and minds greatly influences and effects our lives. I'm thankful that even when I chose not to, my mom guarded my heart, mind, and spirit from things I wasn't able to see the danger in.
2. Be sober today.
My mom can attest to my type A personality and my life-long battle with perfectionism. While she may not totally get my somewhat "obsessive" personality at times, she has always been able to bring me back to earth. She has sat across from me many times as I
3. Family is important.
My mom is the queen of southern hospitality. Our home has always had an open door and you'll find all types of people stopping by. Every holiday or birthday she's known to pull out all the stops and invite our family (immediate and distant) to sit around her eight foot long kitchen table and eat some of the best home-cooking you'll find around. (Did I mention what a great cook she is?) Needless to say, there were moments I didn't always appreciate this. I wanted to hang out with friends or a boyfriend and complained and moaned and groaned about having to attend. She was always adamant that we be present and participate in these events. The result of this is I am blessed to have a close-knit family that cares about each other and is INVOLVED in each other's lives. We are not a perfect family--we have disagreements and issues just like everyone else, but we are important to each other. We all enjoy "coming home".
4. Say your sorry and mean it.
If you did something wrong in our house, you were expected to apologize... and to mean it. No half-hearted apologies accepted. If you weren't ready to apologize, you were made to sit in your room and were allowed to come out only when you were ready. There was no double standard in this, my mom apologized to us at times. This has taught me that EVERYONE at times makes mistakes and it taught me the importance in apologizing. Now as an adult, when I know that I am wrong, I am able to humble myself (sometimes more quickly than other times) and say I'm sorry. I was taught a habit of apologizing and this has helped me maintain strong and healthy relationships.
5. Tell the truth.
My mom taught us that the world had enough liars and that we weren't going to be one of them. We were expected to tell the truth at all times and were punished if we did not. She taught that it was always easier to tell the truth and that lies would only turn into more lies. To this day, because of this expectation, honesty remains a strong conviction of mine. Even when it's hard, I strive to be honest and truthful in all that I do.
6. There's nothing you can do or say that will EVER make me stop loving you.
When I think of my mom, I think this would classify as her famous quote. There have been times in my life I have completely and utterly broken her heart, smashed her trust, and have disappointed her greatly. But in those moments, sometimes through tears, she always told me, "There is NOTHING you will ever do or say that will make me stop loving you". I have never doubted how much my mom loved me and I have always known that I can come to her with anything. Even in those moments where I was so disappointed in myself and when I couldn't forgive myself, SHE accepted me and loved me as I was. With all my faults, failures, and hangups. She modeled the love and acceptance of Christ to me.
So mom, I know I don't say it enough. But, thank you for always being my biggest fan. I keep waiting to grow up and to stop "needing my mommy". But something tells me that's not ever going to happen. I know how hard it has been to send your daughter (and granddaughter) off on a plane to South America, you did it through tear-filled eyes and a heavy heart. Thank you. Thank you for supporting me, cheering me on, and believing that I could do the things that I always dreamed of doing.
I'll always love you.
Love,
Your bestest girl in the whole-wide world
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