20 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Being A Parent
Disclaimer/Apology: Not that any of you have noticed, but I'm sort of liking this whole list format. Forgive me as I too have jumped onto the list-writing blog bandwagon.
While becoming a parent is one of the best things that has ever happened to me in my life, it has also been one of the most challenging things I've ever done. I feel extremely humbled and honored that God chose ME to give birth to and parent my beautiful baby (soon to be babies) and this is a honor I take very seriously. I am by no means claiming to be an expert or a know-it-all, but have learned quite a bit of things over the past two years or so.
Here are 20 things that I wish someone had told me about being a parent:
1. There is no magic age where all babies magically begin sleeping through the night and you're NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG IF THEY DON'T. While some extremelylucky blessed parents may have the "perfect" baby that sleeps through the night at 6 weeks, your baby may not sleep all through the night at 6 weeks, 6 months, 12 months, or at two years old. Speaking from a mother who tried it all--some babies just don't sleep and you're not a failure because they don't.
2. You will cry more than you've ever cried in your life (and over what you used to think were stupid things). Be prepared for it and keep tissues on hand! You will cry when you accidentally nick your baby's tiny finger when cutting their nails and they bleed a tiny drop of blood. You will cry when they are up for the fifth time in the past two hours and won't sleep. You'll cry when you're packing up their tiny clothes and exchanging them for bigger sizes. You will cry when they tell you they love you voluntarily for the first time.
3. You will mess up. A lot. If you're smart, you'll apologize even more. You will lose your cool, you will overreact, and you might even raise your voice. But, make sure thatif when you do, you also tell your sweet little one that you're sorry and that you love them very much. I think they understand.
4. Your body may not "snap" back after baby like you thought it would. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else who had a baby. Stop comparing yourself to the movie stars and actresses. Realize and appreciate the miracle your body produced, give yourself some slack, and do the best you can with what you have.
5. Quiet, relaxing moments in the shower or the bathroom are things of the past. As soon as you step in the shower and get all soaped up, or the moment you sit down to pee, they will immediately need you. They will start to scream, cry, they will poop in their diaper, stick their little hands under the bathroom door, or beat at the door while screaming your name. (Note: The bathroom isn't a good hiding place for these reasons, find somewhere better.)
6. You're never alone. You have tiny ears and eyes watching every move you make and hearing every word you speak. Be careful what you do and say.
7. Don't compare your baby to other babies. It will make you worry, it will cause you to miss out on the moment, and it's not necessary. Every baby develops at his or her own pace and THAT IS OKAY.
8. Your relationship with your spouse will change. You'll have to overcome a lot of things and you will have to work hard to keep the romance alive. Things won't happen as easily and/or without planning. Make your relationship a priority because a happy mommy and daddy make for a happy, healthy baby and family.
9. You will NEVER be caught up with laundry again. Ever. Need I say more?
10. Your house will never be spotless again, get over it. (I still struggle with this one.) You will look around and realize you're surrounded by baby swings, boppies, toys, blankets, and bottles. Your windows, doors, and glass tables will be covered in sticky fingerprints and your floor will look disgusting. Just accept it. One day your house will feel too clean and empty.
11. It WILL get easier to get yourself and the little one ready and out the door on time. You will learn to give yourself more time, have things ready the night before, and you will naturally develop a routine that works for you.
12. You will be embarrassed. I promise that one day, your child will do or say something that makes your face turn red and that will make you want to crawl under a rock and die. Smile, apologize when necessary, and let it go. It will be funny later.
13. You will love someone in a way you've never loved before. You will have moments that you think your heart will burst. You will think about your child(ren) more than you've ever thought about another person before, you will consider them in every decision you make, you will talk about them too much, and you will miss them when you're apart.
14. You will bend or break. Learn to be flexible, crap happens (literally) and always at the most inconvenient times.
15. You will question yourself more than ever before. You will question everything you do. You will always worry if you're doing the right thing or the best thing. Rely on God and trust that if you let Him, He will lead and guide you.
16. People are going to give you advice--whether you ask for it or not. People have good intentions, they do. (Repeat as often as necessary.) But, for some reason the moment you become a parent they think you need their advice. They can sometimes overstep their boundaries without even meaning to. They want to help and will offer PLENTY of unsolicited advice. Take it with a grain of salt and try to keep your comments to yourself. It's easier to ignore unwanted advice than to take back a nasty "let me tell you where to go" comment.
17. You will want to quit. There are moments when it feels too much, too hard, or like too much work. But you can't quit and you won't quit. You will get back up, dust yourself off, and try again.
18. You can't do it all. Believe me I've tried and sometimes still get caught back up in "the attempt to be super mom". If you are able to make your own wipes, freeze your own organic baby food, buy cloth diapers, and attend baby music stimulation classes...good for you. If you can't, that's okay too. Do what works for you. As long as baby is healthy and happy--all is right with the world. Also, don't be afraid to ask for help and/or admit if you can't do it all. There's no shame.
19. Things won't always go as you plan. This can range from your birth experience not panning out, being unable to breastfeed exclusively, to having to back out of plans because of a sick baby--things happen and plans will change. Be flexible and try not to obsess over what doesn't work out.
20. There will never be a joy greater than this. You will marvel at how tiny a person's little toes can be. You will watch their tiny chest rise and fall when they sleep. You will hold your breath as they take their first wobbly steps. You will beam with pride when they say their first words. Their milestones become your triumphs. Their failures your heartbreak. You will realize how much your life was missing before they came to be and you will never be able to thank God even for the inexpressible joy they bring to your life. There is no greater joy than to be a parent to a precious little boy or girl. Treasure it mommy and daddy, it goes by so, so, fast.
While becoming a parent is one of the best things that has ever happened to me in my life, it has also been one of the most challenging things I've ever done. I feel extremely humbled and honored that God chose ME to give birth to and parent my beautiful baby (soon to be babies) and this is a honor I take very seriously. I am by no means claiming to be an expert or a know-it-all, but have learned quite a bit of things over the past two years or so.
Here are 20 things that I wish someone had told me about being a parent:
1. There is no magic age where all babies magically begin sleeping through the night and you're NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG IF THEY DON'T. While some extremely
2. You will cry more than you've ever cried in your life (and over what you used to think were stupid things). Be prepared for it and keep tissues on hand! You will cry when you accidentally nick your baby's tiny finger when cutting their nails and they bleed a tiny drop of blood. You will cry when they are up for the fifth time in the past two hours and won't sleep. You'll cry when you're packing up their tiny clothes and exchanging them for bigger sizes. You will cry when they tell you they love you voluntarily for the first time.
3. You will mess up. A lot. If you're smart, you'll apologize even more. You will lose your cool, you will overreact, and you might even raise your voice. But, make sure that
4. Your body may not "snap" back after baby like you thought it would. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else who had a baby. Stop comparing yourself to the movie stars and actresses. Realize and appreciate the miracle your body produced, give yourself some slack, and do the best you can with what you have.
5. Quiet, relaxing moments in the shower or the bathroom are things of the past. As soon as you step in the shower and get all soaped up, or the moment you sit down to pee, they will immediately need you. They will start to scream, cry, they will poop in their diaper, stick their little hands under the bathroom door, or beat at the door while screaming your name. (Note: The bathroom isn't a good hiding place for these reasons, find somewhere better.)
6. You're never alone. You have tiny ears and eyes watching every move you make and hearing every word you speak. Be careful what you do and say.
7. Don't compare your baby to other babies. It will make you worry, it will cause you to miss out on the moment, and it's not necessary. Every baby develops at his or her own pace and THAT IS OKAY.
8. Your relationship with your spouse will change. You'll have to overcome a lot of things and you will have to work hard to keep the romance alive. Things won't happen as easily and/or without planning. Make your relationship a priority because a happy mommy and daddy make for a happy, healthy baby and family.
9. You will NEVER be caught up with laundry again. Ever. Need I say more?
10. Your house will never be spotless again, get over it. (I still struggle with this one.) You will look around and realize you're surrounded by baby swings, boppies, toys, blankets, and bottles. Your windows, doors, and glass tables will be covered in sticky fingerprints and your floor will look disgusting. Just accept it. One day your house will feel too clean and empty.
11. It WILL get easier to get yourself and the little one ready and out the door on time. You will learn to give yourself more time, have things ready the night before, and you will naturally develop a routine that works for you.
12. You will be embarrassed. I promise that one day, your child will do or say something that makes your face turn red and that will make you want to crawl under a rock and die. Smile, apologize when necessary, and let it go. It will be funny later.
13. You will love someone in a way you've never loved before. You will have moments that you think your heart will burst. You will think about your child(ren) more than you've ever thought about another person before, you will consider them in every decision you make, you will talk about them too much, and you will miss them when you're apart.
14. You will bend or break. Learn to be flexible, crap happens (literally) and always at the most inconvenient times.
15. You will question yourself more than ever before. You will question everything you do. You will always worry if you're doing the right thing or the best thing. Rely on God and trust that if you let Him, He will lead and guide you.
16. People are going to give you advice--whether you ask for it or not. People have good intentions, they do. (Repeat as often as necessary.) But, for some reason the moment you become a parent they think you need their advice. They can sometimes overstep their boundaries without even meaning to. They want to help and will offer PLENTY of unsolicited advice. Take it with a grain of salt and try to keep your comments to yourself. It's easier to ignore unwanted advice than to take back a nasty "let me tell you where to go" comment.
17. You will want to quit. There are moments when it feels too much, too hard, or like too much work. But you can't quit and you won't quit. You will get back up, dust yourself off, and try again.
18. You can't do it all. Believe me I've tried and sometimes still get caught back up in "the attempt to be super mom". If you are able to make your own wipes, freeze your own organic baby food, buy cloth diapers, and attend baby music stimulation classes...good for you. If you can't, that's okay too. Do what works for you. As long as baby is healthy and happy--all is right with the world. Also, don't be afraid to ask for help and/or admit if you can't do it all. There's no shame.
19. Things won't always go as you plan. This can range from your birth experience not panning out, being unable to breastfeed exclusively, to having to back out of plans because of a sick baby--things happen and plans will change. Be flexible and try not to obsess over what doesn't work out.
20. There will never be a joy greater than this. You will marvel at how tiny a person's little toes can be. You will watch their tiny chest rise and fall when they sleep. You will hold your breath as they take their first wobbly steps. You will beam with pride when they say their first words. Their milestones become your triumphs. Their failures your heartbreak. You will realize how much your life was missing before they came to be and you will never be able to thank God even for the inexpressible joy they bring to your life. There is no greater joy than to be a parent to a precious little boy or girl. Treasure it mommy and daddy, it goes by so, so, fast.
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