Thanks for Being the "Mean" Mom

I recently read a story about a young fifteen year-old girl, who was found dead...raped and killed and thrown in some alley.  It broke my heart.  After following the story for a while, the rest of the details began surfacing.  The young girl was known for being a "party girl".  She could be found every weekend at a party, in a club or a bar, and other places she had no business being.  Most evenings, she was out and about when she should have been at home watching Netflix or having sleepovers talking about boys with her girlfriends. She was known to be promiscuous and had multiple boyfriends that were usually much older than she.   She got into the clubs and bars with a fake ID that her "mother" got for her and her own "mother" was known for throwing parties for the girl and her friends!  

Am I saying this fifteen year old girl "asked for" what happened to her to happen?  Absolutely not?  Do I think this incident could possibly have been avoided?  Maybe.   Why do I think this?  Because when someone conducted an interview with this girl's mom (this is where the whole story REALLY got to me) and  questioned whether she thought she was overly lenient or if she had given her daughter too much freedom, she responded, "Absolutely not.  She was fifteen years old...an adult.  She was just at the wrong place at the wrong time, it's all so hard because, she was my best friend."   

 What?!  This girl was fifteen years old.  She was a child.  A child that had PERMISSION to be in all sorts of places that are known to be dangerous for grown women!  This woman was much more concerned with being her daughter's friend than her mother.  This poor girl's life is over and you have to wonder if it might could have been avoided.  The sad part is, in today's day and age, we are seeing and hearing of so many stories like this one and it breaks my heart.  Stories where parents (out of lack of knowledge or lack of concern) aren't parents.  Situations where parents have shucked off their parental responsibilities of supervising and parenting their children and then blame bad outcomes on bad luck or bad timing.  I don't know a lot, but what I DO know is, that as a living, breathing thirty-year old, I am thankful that my mom wasn't concerned with being my friend and that she was a "mean mom". 

My mean mom made me ask for permission to do ANYthing.

My mean mom didn't allow me to hang out with the kids she knew were "bad news".

My mean mom asked me where I was going, who I was going with, and whose parents would be there.

She disciplined me when warranted. 

My mean mom gave me a (really early) curfew and enforced it.  

My mom checked up on me.

She made me call when I got there and made me call when I was leaving.

It was an understood rule that if plans changed, she was to know.

My mean mom grounded me when I deserved it.

She took away my car keys a time or two.

She told me "no".  

My mean mom made me do without. 

She made me wash my own clothes and clean the house.

My mean mom sent me to my room to get control of my emotions. 

She made me learn to cook and buy groceries.

My mean mom made me apologize.

She made me write thank you notes and use my manners.

My mean mom made me share.

She made me go to church and she even made me tithe.

My mean mom loved me enough to be "mean" and today I owe her (and my daddy) my appreciation.

Did I always appreciate my mom?  Heck no!  Did we get along all the time?  (Insert hysterical laughing here.)  Did she protect me from everything?  No.  Did she keep me from making wrong decisions or choices?  Nope.  But she sure did make it a lot harder for me to get in trouble.  Do bad things happen sometimes despite every effort from good parents, absolutely.  Bad things happen to the best of people.

As someone who has worked with children for years and as a (new) mother myself, I think the world needs more "mean" parents. We need more parents that love their children more than themselves and parents that take their responsibility seriously.  We need parents that strive to raise their children to be self-sufficient, responsible citizens that know the value of a dollar and that success comes from hard work and perseverance.  We need parents that teach their children how to treat people and most importantly parents that teach their children to love Jesus Christ and serve Him with their lives.  I pray everyday for God to help me be that kind of parent.  I ask him to teach me how to raise my girls and that He gives me the grace needed in every situation.  I take my job as a parent very seriously and consider it a blessing to have been chosen to be a "mom" to two precious little girls.  I want to get this right!

If you are a "mean" mom or dad, keep it up!  Your children may not be thanking you right now, but they will one day!  I'm living proof.

Thanks mom (and dad) for being "mean" parents who loved me enough to teach me and hold me up to high expectations.  I love you!