Stretching

Tonight it dawned on me that in less than a week, it will be exactly one year since I have seen (or hugged) my dad and my brothers.  One year.  Let that sink in.  Three-hundred-sixty-five days.  This is the longest I have ever been without seeing my daddy or my brothers.  Plain and simple, I miss them.

My brothers and I have always had an abnormal relationship in that we have always been close.  We've had our fights and disagreements, but we all know that come the end of the day, we will always be there for each other.  I miss hanging out with my brothers.  I miss sitting in the living room around the coffee table eating chinese takeout and watching stupid movies.  I miss laughing, joking and ragging each other.  I miss the gruff way (both of my brothers) sweep me up in a hug and say, "Love ya sis".  Simply put, I miss my brothers tremendously.

I miss my daddy.  I miss his hugs, his advice, and his jokes.  I miss riding in his nasty truck that was always filled with tools, windows down, listening to the radio and making small talk.  I miss going out to eat breakfast with him and I miss our Japanese dates.  I miss "building" stuff with him (Even though, it was more like him building and me handing him tools).  I miss his quiet presence that off-sets my chatty self.

I'm not really sure why this hit me so hard tonight, but I do know one thing.  Distance truly makes the heart grow fonder.  I've always known I was blessed with my family, but I never realized just HOW blessed I am.  Distance stretches you.  Being away from all that is familiar stretches you.  New things stretch you.  This distance has brought out my very worst, but I am starting to see that ways it has brought out my very best.  I have been so stretched in the last year.  In sheer honesty, there have been times I've truly felt as though I would snap in two from all the stretching.  But God is faithful.

Anyone who exercises knows that one of the most important parts of an excersise session is stretching.  It warms up your muscles, it prevents injury, it prepares your body for what's to come.   But stretching can be painful.  When you have sore muscles and you stretch them, it hurts!  But is necessary to heal the tears and to relieve the soreness.  Stretching is important in that it serves as preparation and starts the necessary healing process.

I have been stretched in preparation, sometimes stretched so much there have been small tears (and tears!)  But then God has come back and stretched me again (despite my protests) and the same stretching that brought the pain, has also brought me healing.   I had a conversation with someone today who made the comment, "You know we do all of our growing when we sleep.  Our body recovers, heals it self and grows.  We don't feel ourselves growing and usually don't notice the changes but they are happening."  How true this is.  Sometimes I wonder if I all this stretching and tearing is worth it.  If there is a real purpose for it all, if all the things that I am "missing" are worth doing without.  But, God reminded me tonight, in typing this,  Yes, I am being stretched.  Yes, I am stretching.  But, I am growing.  I am changing.  I am healing.  There IS a plan in all this, there IS a reason... and all this stretching has a purpose.  It's healing me and it's preparing me for what's to come.