Sleep Deprived Ramblings

So, here I am with nothing special or particular to say.  I'm writing tonight because I'm trying not to totally get out of the habit of blogging.  Plus, I have a personal goal that I want to blog at least once a month for a year.  Let's see if I can keep this up (cough, cough).

Well, it's now 10:39PM here in Barranquilla.  Currently, my apartment is dark and quiet as my 2.5 year old and 3 week old are both sleeping (yes, at the same time!)  I, however, am not.  Why you ask?  Because there's something about having a newborn that makes me a little anxious about nighttime.  Let me explain...It's like this, I LIVE for that moment where at the end of the day, you lay your head back on your pillow, pull your covers up to your chin, and allow your weary body to sink inch by inch into your bed.  You sigh a long oh-my-gosh-I-love-my-bed kind of sigh, find that perfect spot or position, and BOOM!  You're out!

But now, my bedtime depends on two (as of three weeks ago) little girls.  Whenever they decide to go to sleep determines when I get to go to sleep...and IF I get to sleep...and how long I get to sleep.  I've spent many-a-night in the last few years with feet, elbows, booties, or other small body parts kicking me, prodding me, or poking me.  So, now as the night grows near, I find myself feeling a little bit of dread.  I feel a little anxious... bedtime is no longer as enjoyable as it once was.

Nighttime now consists of hoping and praying that she'll "sleep all night".  It never fails, one of two things happen every. single. night.  Number one: you go to bed and the moment you're really sleeping soundly, the baby (or your two-year-old) wake up screaming.  You then bolt out of bed with your heart pounding and your body shaking from having been jolted from a deep sleep suddenly.  Or, number two: you decide to "wait up" and the baby sleeps three hours straight.  Perfect example of your darned if you do, darned if you don't.

So, here I am... waiting to go to bed when my toddlers been out for a while now and my 3-week old has been sleeping for almost two hours... kicking myself for not having gone to bed earlier. I know that as soon I close this laptop and get laid down in bed, some little person will need me or want me and I'll be up (again) taking care of some sweet babies' needs.  Speaking of which, one is screaming for me now...

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