Lights Out

For the past two weekends, we have had some power issues (or lack-there-of) here in Barranquilla.  Last weekend our power went off somewhere around 2AM on Sunday morning.  I woke up because I was drenched in sweat and realized that the fan in our room had gone still and silent.  We tried to open our window and fan ourselves with some cardboard scraps we found, but it didn't help much.  We took turns fanning our little booger trying to keep her comfortable and finally resorted to carrying a mattress onto our balcony to try and catch some breeze.  This particular night was one of the hottest, most humid nights I've yet to experience here in Barranquilla and there was not a hint of breeze to be found.  Finally, after waiting for the power to come back on for nearly two hours, we gave up and dozed off and on, taking turns fanning each other with our cardboard, all while wearing our sweat-soaked pajamas.   As the sun came up, we gave up the idea of sleep and got up to shower and get ready for church.  To our dismay, we realized that no power meant no water.  So, we had to get all of our things together and take showers at Sergio's mom and dad's house.  (Thank God they had water, after that hot, sticky, sweaty night we looked rough!)  We then went to church which also had no power--which meant no fans in an already warm building... so we had the service outside under the school's playground covering.  No mics or big band... just voices, congas, and guitars.  The power stayed off until nearly 6PM that night and the day was unbearably hot, so we went to a local mall to steal some air conditioning for a while.  The power finally came back on that evening, only to switch off again sometime the next morning around 3AM...but thankfully came back on after about two hours.

Today, the city of Barranquilla experienced the first rainstorm that it has had in months.  We've been in a drought, so the rain was a welcome sight and sound.  Until, the power flipped off.  Again.   I was in the middle of cleaning and the only things left to do were to wipe down the bathrooms, wash a few dishes, and mop the floor.  (Important Note: It had taken me ALL morning to muster up the ENERGY for my thirty-four week pregnant (large and waddling) self to get up and do the necessary cleaning.)  Well, you can probably see where things are headed, I couldn't do those things without water.  I was immediately grumpy and started complaining to myself, to God, and to Sergio.  After a little while, the power came back on in part of our apartment, so we were at least able to run a fan, but I was so aggravated.  I stayed in a bad mood for most of the afternoon and was trying to come to terms with the fact we were going to be spending yet another sleepless night in the heat without air conditioning or possibly without a fan.  (I was doing a lousy job being positive!)  We had just moved a mattress, our pillows, and our fan into our living room (the only room with electricity) when the power came back on in all of our apartment.  Thank the Lord!

As I got to finally stand in the shower and wash off the day's dirt and sweat, I heard a small voice whisper to me, It sure didn't take much to put you in a terrible mood today.  I ignored the voice and lathered up my head with shampoo.  Here you've been grumpy and moody all day--all bent out of shape about having no air, being hot, and having no water...complaining about all the "sacrifices" you're making, all while there are people who are far worse off than you've ever been.  I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair and sighed.  I knew the little voice was right.  When are you going to stop making things all about you, stop complaining about the things that don't go your way, stop focusing on what you don't have, and be thankful for the things you do have.  When are you going to stop allowing your plenty or your want to determine your mood and your outlook on life in the current moment?  Your wishy-washy.  Swayed by every little breeze, consistently inconsistent.   I got out of the shower feeling fresh and clean on the outside, but pretty crummy and dirty on the inside.  It dawned on me just how quick I am to become enraged, angered and frustrated by daily inconveniences and issues that I'm faced with.

Unfortunately, this isn't a very impressive blog posting...it isn't one of eloquent words or deep, life-changing thoughts or concepts, it's just me being honest about my selfishness and my self-centeredness, and my tendency to focus my eyes on any and everything but Him.  It's not about me at all.  I need to remember to count it all joy in all circumstances, to be content in all things, to learn to no longer allow my circumstances or surroundings--my lack or my plenty dictate my moods or emotions.

Philippians 4:11-13 says,  ^"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.   I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength." 

I want to be able to honestly say this.  To truly mean that I am content in all circumstances.  My whispered prayer as I toweled off and dressed for bed was that the Lord would make me thankful in all things, content in all circumstances, and joyful in whatever I might face.  Whether I am in lack or in plenty, I want to look to the Lord, focus on Him, and to stop allowing things like no power dictate my day.