When God Seems Far Away

There are moments in life where God seems distant or far removed from us.  Periods in time where we cry out to God for answers and/or a move of his spirit and we receive nothing but silence.  We experience points in our lives where we are with Him at the peak of the mountain and there are times where we find ourselves collapsed at the bottom of that same mountain seemingly deserted.  There are moments in life where we question and wonder if He were ever really there at all.

The past two years have taught me more about distance than I  ever cared to learn.  Distance can feel suffocating at times.  You can physically feel distance.  Distance separates you from someone or something.  It keeps you apart.  Distance is one of the hardest things that I think I've ever have to deal with in my life... and although I've waited for it to get easier, up until this point, it has not.  Distance can defined as many things... but the definitions I'll throw out today are as follows: the distance between two points, the state or fact of being far apart in space, as of one thing from another, remoteness...when we are far away from family, friends and loved ones we FEEL the distance.

Distance has been known to destroy relationships.  It has been known to allow the faces of friends to slowly slip from our minds until we no longer think of them.  It can be the reason relationships don't make it or last.  Distance is not just a physical phenomenon.  Distance can affect us emotionally, we can be sitting side by side, but be so very far apart.  It is the reason marriages fail and we are surrounded by people, yet extremely alone.

I have found myself in one of those times where God feels distant.  As the Psalmist David cried out to God, I find myself silently whispering the same prayer, "How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?  How long will you hide your face from me?  How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?  How long will my enemy triumph over me?" (Psalm 13:1-2 NIV). I have found myself asking God why He left. "Lord, why did you leave me here all alone to deal with this mess?  Why are you far away?" I've whined.    Lately, God has been quietly reminding me, it's not Him who left... I did.

Relationships are always two-ways.  It takes both people working together to bridge the gap and/or distance, that is ever seeking to divide you both.  If I am not actively working to bridge the gap or to close the distance, then God will remain far away.  The truth is, God never moves.  He's always there.  It is we who get distracted, turn to the left or right or back track.  He is constantly wooing us, perusing us, seeking a relationship with us... but we are guilty of permitting distance to separate us.  We forget to pray, we chose to watch that television show instead of reading our bible... we justify it to ourselves saying, "just this once," I will do it tomorrow.  But "this once" turns into days and weeks and months... and then we suddenly look up and realize how far away we are from God and wonder how we got there and why HE left US.

I remember as a small child playing in the ocean on those blowup floats.  Before allowing me to get into the water my parents would always warn me not to go out too deep and to pay attention to where they were sitting.  "Make sure you keep looking up and make sure you can see us.  The tide will suck you out if you're not careful," they'd caution.  I would run to the water's edge, jumping, splashing, cheering and climb up on my float and ride the waves and play without a care in the world.  Suddenly I would hear the far away voice of my mom or dad calling me, "Kristiiiiiiiii, come back!  You're too far out!"  At the sound of their voice, I would begin scanning the beach and for a moment I would begin to panic because I'd realize I could no longer could see them, our beach umbrella, our chairs or my sand toys.  I would then glance around myself and suddenly notice how far out I had drifted.  I would realize that I was in some very deep waters and I would suddenly become fearful, because I knew that if I fell of the raft I wouldn't be able to touch bottom.  I would lay on my belly on my float and begin kicking my legs with all my might, paddling with my hands, fighting the waves...relentlessly until I could either see my parents or touch bottom.  Sometimes, when my efforts to come back to shore weren't enough, my parents would swim out to get me.  They'd sweep me up in their arms and swim me back to safety.   However I ended up on shore, once I finally got there, I'd jump off the float, breathing hard, drag my float out of the water dripping with seawater, feeling relieved to be on dry land.  I'd then find my way back to our spot on the beach.  I'd usually find myself wrapped up in a sun-kissed beach towel listening to my parents quietly scold me for not paying attention and for drifting so far out.  "Pay attention," they'd tell me, "it's dangerous out there...if you're not careful you can drown," they'd say.

That's God and that's us.  Life is like an ocean... we are out in the middle of it floating around.  The waves of life beat us down from every side and angle.  They push and pull us and if we lose sight of Him, we can end up places we don't know how to get out of.  We can find ourselves too far out and unsure of how to get back to shore.  We can find ourselves with a great distance between Him and us and getting back can be difficult.  But, just as my parents would stand on the shore and call my name, warning me that I was out too far, God does the same for us.  He calls to us, "My daughter/son, you're out to deep.  Come back!  You're losing focus... you're out in dangerous waters..."  When our efforts to get back on track aren't enough, He will meet us in those deep, scary waters.  He dives in, sweeps us up in His strong arms and pulls us back to Him.  He saves us from ourselves, He eliminates the distance between us and He helps get us back to where we need to be.

I've found myself lately scanning the shore and I can't see my "spot on the beach".  I've looked around and realize I've drifted.  I've lost focus, I've become distracted.  I'm aware I have once again been trying to do things my own way and now I find myself in the middle of a big, deep ocean with the waves crashing down on me...pushing me this way and that... and my arms and legs are too tired to kick and paddle my way back to Him.  But once again He has come to my rescue, He has scooped me up and led me back to point.  All the way reminding me that He loves me... and that even though I have drifted and allowed myself to be distracted, what matters most is the distance between us is no more.