Ch-Ch-Changes...

Today I am thirty-nine weeks and two days pregnant.  That's pretty pregnant, huh?  My feet and hands officially look like small sausages and it's all I can do to roll out of bed for the fifth time to go potty during the night... it's like trying to "Free Willy".  Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment to check and see where things are... and to see if things have changed at all from last week's appointment.  Depending on what the doctor says, we could have a baby sometime this week!  Yikes!

Needless to say, I've been thinking a lot about what changes that are about to come... and in all honesty I've been a little nervous!  I'm worried how I'm going to juggle another little one, how things are going to work out when I have to go back to work, and so on.  Whenever Sergio and I were expecting Isabella--we were dumb (for lack of a better word) and we had no clue what to expect.  This time around, we KNOW what to expect.  The sleepless nights (months, years), the crying for no apparent reason, the explosive diapers, etc.  Sometimes, I think "knowing what to expect" makes it a little scarier.  (Hahaha) It's true what they say, ignorance is bliss!

This time around I've been viewing this change through different eyes, those of my little girl.  I've noted various changes in her as well.  We've been dealing with some appetite changes, sleep regression, she has been extremely whiny, she's sensitive about every little thing, we have daily meltdowns, and she has been acting like a "baby"...talking gibberish and wanting to suck her fingers or a pacifier (Which she never took as a baby!).  While she talks a lot about her baby sister and seems excited, I know this poor little princess's world is about to be dumped upside down.  There's nothing she can do to control what's going on around her, but poor baby sure is trying to control us!  I've had to take some deep breaths the last few months--but it melts my heart when she looks up at me with her tear-streaked face and says, "Mommy, you hold me peas".  She'll lay her little head down on my shoulder, slowly slow her crying and breathing, and the moment or tantrum passes.

I got to thinking about how much this is like us when God brings about bouts of change in our lives.  We have regressions, we pout, we cry, we don't sleep, we stop eating.  We know we can't really control anything, yet we fight Him like mad trying to, instead of laying our heads down on His shoulder and trusting Him.  I think back to all the change that I have personally faced in this past year--a new country, a new culture, a new language.  It's brought to my remembrance how many times during this year, I've fought God, whined, pouted, complained, cried, and wanted things to go back to the way they were.  I knew then and I know now that things can't go back to the way they were, but it doesn't stop me from fighting the changes.  Change happens whether we want it to or not, whether we're ready or not, and whether or not we want the change.

I cannot think of a better analogy for change than pregnancy and childbirth.  A woman's body goes through so many changes to be able to physically carry a baby... not to mention the emotional changes that she goes through.  Then comes the childbirth part---again a woman's body goes through a series of changes in order to birth the baby that its carried for months.  These "changes" are necessary, they're irreversible.  They must come to pass in order to bring to life the very thing the body has been undergoing changes to produce.  Sounds familiar huh?  It's no secret that many of these changes hurt--physically and emotionally.  They're uncomfortable, they're unpleasant--but they are necessary.

So the next time changes come your way and you find yourself in the middle of pitching-a-fit before God, remember that the very changes you are fighting against are God's way of giving birth to greater things in you.  In your life, in your heart, and in your ministry.  Change is never easy, it's not always an enjoyable experience, but it's a necessary part of life.  We can lay our heads down on our daddy's shoulder, calm our breathing and crying and be confident that God NEVER changes and NEVER fails us--whatever changes might come.