Broken Family

Six weeks ago our family broke,
we went from five to four.
An evening phone call at 8:40p.m.
brought me to my knees on the floor.

A whirlwind of tears, tickets and flights,
trying to get home and make sure everyone's "alright".
Knowing they're not and never will be.
Our family is broken and will always be.

Decisions and duties,
getting it done.
It all feels like a terrible dream
we keep praying to wake from.

Crying ourselves to sleep at night, struggling to keep it together.
Trying to stand strong and believe that you're in a better place with your Savior forever.
Right now knowing that doesn't make it better, it doesn't...not at all.
I hope that one day some of this will make just a little sense  and that knowing where you are will bring some healing to the raw.

The day we said goodbye to you will be etched in my memory forever,
It was THE longest, saddest day in all my life. There's nothing that comes close nor will ever.
How do you tell your baby brother goodbye?  It's not like you have a choice.
You're forced to, made to, ready or not... finding hope in who you're now with is my only endeavor.

May 24, 2019 will unfailingly be the day our family broke.
Overnight we became everyone's fear--the family that lost a loved one.
Everyone fighting the urge to lay down and join you,
Our hearts have been so very undone.

Who do we blame for breaking us?  There isn't anyone.
Who do we go to for an answer as to why He took you so young?
People have told me to be thankful for the time I had with you,
and I am, I really am, but right now I'm devestated by all the memories that now will never come.

6 weeks of long days and longer nights have passed
and we still can't grasp the fact you're gone.
How can you fix this kind of broke?
When speaking your name causes everyone to choke?

You broke our family when you left,
This wasn't supposed to be.
You're supposed to be here,
You're supposed to be one sibling of three.