Hot, Sweaty Mess

Imaged obtained from google search.

It has been brought to my attention throughout my life that I am imperfect.  I have been told this by others, learned it by comparison and the enemy has most certainly confirmed it. In fact, I am a downright mess!  Often times, I am selfish, short-tempered, moody, emotional and annoying about organization (just to name a few).

In case you didn't know it, Barranquilla is a very HOT place!  (I like to describe there being two seasons here, hot and hellish!)  As I was finishing my workout a few days ago, I had an epiphany.  I was sweating, grunting and whining about much I didn't want to be working out.  I was dreaming about a cool shower, a cold glass of water and my bed.

I had sweat dripping down my forehead into my eyes.  It was running down my shoulders and arms, dripping onto the floor...my hands and knees kept sliding out from under me as I knelt on my apartment's tile floor.  I was a hot, sweaty mess!  As I was trying to force myself to do a few more pushups and squats, I was doing some self-pep-talking (if such a thing exists).  Come on, Kristi!  You can do this!  Just a few more!  Remember why you're doing this!  Kiss those saddle bags goodbye!  No more jelly belly for you!   Needless to say my pep-talking only got me so motivated before I started asking myself, why am I doing this?

When I started answering those questions, I realized that the reasons I walk with Christ are so similar.  The reason I keep "suffering through" a workout is because it brings noticeable, positive change to my life.  That's the same reason I keep trying to walk with Christ.  I've learned throughout my short life and limited experiences that walking with Him brings noticeable, positives changes to my life as well.

So, the reasons I walk with Christ (and workout) are because:

I want to see change and results.  

Growth, change and improvements come from moments of chaos, hard work and effort.  Often times in the middle of times of growth, we don't see or feel the changes, but they're taking place.  You don't get buns of steel by sitting on your buns.  You don't become a powerful Christian by warming a pew either.  It takes work, dedication and commitment.  I know I am a better person when I'm searching for God.  When I read my Bible and pray faithfully, I'm softer, more caring, less anxious, more loving.  When I don't do those things, I'm shorter-tempered, moody, anxious and hard.

I want to feel better.

A good workout can change your mood and outlook on life.  So can a good cry and prayer session!  I don't want to live of life of insecurity, self-doubt or hatred.  I want to live a life in which I can love myself and be happy with who God created me to be.  In Him, I can love myself and when I can love myself, then I am capable of loving others.  In Him, I can find joy in all circumstances.  In Him, I can learn to be content no matter what my circumstance.


I want to be an example for my daughters (and others).

There are enough angry, hateful people in this world.  I don't want to be one of them and I most certainly do not want to raise them.  I want to be the person that I want my girls to be one day.  I want to be that person that can state (and back up) what I believe in love, not in condemnation.  I want to be that person that can love and minister to my brothers and sisters in Christ regardless of their skin color, social economic status or sexual orientation and I want my daughters to grow up to do the same.  I don't want to be one of those people who blogs about what people should do, or one of those that whines about what people should do on facebook, I want to BE the difference and I want to be a part of MAKING a difference.

I want to live a long, enjoyable, meaning-filled life... I don't want to simply exist.

Without Christ, I have no reason to exist.  Everything for me becomes mundane and pointless.  He gives me a reason to live, a reason to press ahead, a reason to believe.  In Him, my life has meaning and purpose.  In Christ, the things I do are valuable and are worthwhile.

Sometimes my workouts get sporadic and life gets in the way, but I never totally give up trying.  Sometimes to be honest, my spiritual walk with God gets the same way.  I get busy, I forget to read my Bible for a day or two.  I watch T.V. instead of praying, I slack off.  But as much as my all-or-nothing personality fights me... I don't give up.  When life knocks me off track... I pick a day and start back up again... because even though I'm no fitness queen or spiritual saint... I am a better person each day for trying.