Moments

Yesterday I had a moment. 

A moment where I rocked my not-so-little baby to sleep (a little longer than necessary) and realized that in less than a month she'd be turning a year old.  On this same night, I had yet another moment where I knelt down beside the bed of my little girl (who everyday is looking more and more like a big girl) and kissed her not so chubby cheeks as she wrapped her little arms around my neck and told me she loved me to the moon and back.  And I cried.  I cried because I was happy.  I cried because I was sad. I cried because I felt so overly blessed.  I cried because I'm so proud. I cried because I felt so unworthy.  I cried because I fall so short.  I cried because I realized how fast the moments are passing.

Life is made up of all sorts of moments.  Moments we want to remember forever, moments we wish we could erase.  There are good moments, bad ones, difficult ones, happy ones, memorable ones, sad ones and life changing ones.  These moments added together make up our lives.  Sadly, much of our lives are made up of missed moments.  The moments that slip right past us without us even knowing.  Those moments that we miss because we're too busy with life to pay attention to them.

It seems like the "moments" have been passing by quicker and quicker these days. Often times I find myself becoming so wrapped up the busyness of life that I sometimes even find myself annoyed with the moments.  The moments were someone calls me for the tenth time to come tuck them in.  The hundredth time a little someone calls my name.  The moments a small body wants to be held for a little longer.  The moments when I'm dealing with whining, pouting, and crying.  Sometimes I find myself resenting these moments.  I long for quiet, for time to myself, for moments past where I had the freedom to do what I wanted.

Then nights like yesterday come and remind me that everyday these moments are passing and while these moments may seem hard now... I am going to miss them one day.  Every single day I have a little girl who is growing more and more independent.  A smiley, happy "rubia" that is needing her mommy less and less.  A smart, beautiful child who is wanting to do more by herself each and every day.  Every night I rock to sleep a sweet, chubby baby that loves to lay her sweet brown-headed head on my shoulder and sigh as she drifts off to sleep.  As I hold my almost one-year and give her a bottle, she stares up at me with those big, brown eyes and pats my face with her small chubby hand. 

Right now, in this moment, they need me. 

I am going to hold onto these moments as long as I can.  I am going to try to live in the moment as much as I can.  Because before I know it, the moment will come when they no longer need me.

Before long, these moments will be gone.